Watch jokes

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.

Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?

A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.

When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.

You won't feel lonely anymore :(

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

What does a cow watch?

MooTube.

We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

Can I watch you?

Yes, you can watch me your watch.

No, I mean can I WATCH you?

I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.

OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

Why did the rapper sit on the clock?

He wanted to keep it real with TIME.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.