War jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.

The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

Bro, WW2 was just a joke.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.

What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they lost two towers.

Why are Nazis so good at soccer?

Because they're so good at shooting.

I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

Orphan

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?

Bathbomb.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.