War jokes

"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Where did Holly go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.

Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?

Everywhere.

What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.

Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?

Because they lost two towers already.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.