War jokes
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
Where did Holly go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.