War jokes

What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.

Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?

Everywhere.

What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

'Cause they only had 4 trucks.

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

What is a terrorist's DJ name?

Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

What war did the black community win?

The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice

What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?

You shout out, "B-52!"

It was just a big hunter killer drone.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.