Want jokes

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: *pulls out gun*

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.

Why does an orphan play GTA?

To get wanted.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

Why do orphans live in an orphanage?

Answer: Because they are wanted there.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?

Because he isn't wanted.