Want jokes

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

The boy ran into the gym, why?

Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

Dear uncle, I want my condoms.

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

Three Vulcans walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Hehehehehe.

Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.

They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.