Want jokes

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

How is being gay like a geology class?

You get to lick all the rocks you want.

When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

Want to hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

The boy ran into the gym, why?

Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

Dear uncle, I want my condoms.