Want jokes
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
Want to hear the worst joke ever? Then look in a mirror.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."