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I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

Why are all orphans criminals?

Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.