Want jokes

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

"What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!" "When do we want them?" "HEARING AIDS!"