Want jokes
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Three Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"