Want jokes
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Let me tell you a story.
There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.
He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.
He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.
One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.