Back
Want

Want jokes

How to decorate a wall:

Strip off the paper and original plaster.

Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.

Paint it (if you want).

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.

  • 3

    • Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

    A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.

  • 0

    • Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

    The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

    The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

    What am I?

    A: A baby.

    My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    I answered, "Happy."

    The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

    You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

    Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

    So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

    They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

  • 3

    • Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

    What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

    What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

    The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

    Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

    Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    Let me tell you a story.

    There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

    He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

    He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

    One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

    One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

    After a minute, a boy stands up.

    The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

    The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

  • 9

    • Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"

    Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."

    I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

  • 0