Want jokes
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
You want a joke? My entire existence.