New Walk Jokes - Page 58 - Worst Jokes Ever

So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.

Three Jewish people walk into a bar.

A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.

The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."

Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."

Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.

This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?

(Stupid People)

A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."

Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."