Wait jokes

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!