Vs jokes
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.