Vs jokes
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.