Versus jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.