Versus jokes
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.