Vehicle jokes

What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?

Carlos.

My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."