Vehicle jokes

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."

What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.

What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?

Carlos.