Vehicle

Vehicle jokes

Engineering

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Wife

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Lamborghini

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Hitler

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

Sister

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

Woman

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Unicycle

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Wife

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

Frog

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

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  • Priest

    Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

    The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

    "We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

    The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

    Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

    Pigeon

    Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

    A: A suicide bomber.

    Traffic Light

    What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!