Vehicle jokes
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
Memes
Well shit
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."