Vehicle jokes
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where is my tractor?"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.