Vehicle jokes
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.
Kart! (DYM 151)
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
Minivan (DYM 138).
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.