When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
What's a kidnappers favorite White Vans
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!
So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.
Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)
Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.
So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
I go beep like a Jeep.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
what is green and looks like a school bus
a school bus
