Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Vegetable Jokes
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
Pickled carrots.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
