Use jokes
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
Whatβs the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Memes
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! π€£π€£
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!
I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.
I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.
π€ What do Polish people π΅π± π΅π± π΅π± in Poland do with π° π° π° π° newspapers π° π° π° π° after they are done reading them?
Use them for toilet paper. 𧻠𧻠𧻠𧻠π π