Use jokes
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.