Use jokes
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.