Use jokes
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.