USA jokes
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
U.S.A: No Queen?
England: No towers?
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.
The Golden State? More like your mum's state...
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
Hello my fellow Americans, I'm playing Clash Royale for the USA clan, and two towers are already gone?
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!