Ups jokes
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
I woke up in my bed today.
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
And just look up anything that is hot! And don't forget to comment!
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
Looks like he never charged up fully.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
I killed myself, then woke up.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!