Turn Jokes

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted." Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!" The brother yells back, "Well at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

What were Stephen Hawking last words?

*Windows turning off*

A black and white image of a skeleton in a suit and hat, smoking and holding playing cards, with the text "MY BODY IS A MACHINE THAT TURNS POKER CHIPS INTO DIVORCE PAPERS" layered on top of the image.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."