So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees)dad “trust me shitting is weirder “
So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn't say the same the words I head was get out.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
trust falling with a bridge is more trust worthy than me
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
ive done a skeleTON of work to think of this joke. trust me ive got a feumer jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz. "No computers allowed on the test"
