Trust jokes
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.