Trust jokes

My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.

Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?

Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.

Carly (😟): What's wrong?

Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...

Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...

Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???

Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...

Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!

Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!

Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.

Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...

Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

What animal can not be trusted?

A lion 🦁.

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.

Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.

Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.

Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?

His running mate has 34 of them!

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.

This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).

Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”