Trust

Trust Jokes

Wendy

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Rape

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

Sibling

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

Girlfriend

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‡

Infidelity

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Relationship

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

Faith

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

World

The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.

Poem

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Sex

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

Woman

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

Press

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

Cannibal

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

Family

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.