Donald Trump Jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.