Donald Trump Jokes

Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

I think DJT has FTD.

Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?

The orange tastes good.

A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.

What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.