Donald Trump Jokes

Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.

Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.

Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?

The orange tastes good.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*