Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.