Donald Trump Jokes
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.