Donald Trump Jokes
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What did Obama ask Trump?
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.