Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

Assassination

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

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  • Coronavirus

    As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

    Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

    Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

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  • Vote

    If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

    Celebrity scandal

    Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

    Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

    Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

    Orphan

    If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

    War

    What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

    What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

    Surname

    A little riddle...

    Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

    ...

    Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

    Social media

    Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”

    Pope

    You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

    You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

    Election

    Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

    Because orange is the new black.

    Leak

    Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

    I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

    Pope

    Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

    Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

    Nazi

    Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

    They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

    Wall

    What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:

    The best thing they did was a wall.

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  • Mom

    Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

    Conclusion

    I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

    He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.