Tree jokes

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

I don't trust trees...they look shady.

What is a fun game for an emo kid?

Tug-o-war with a tree.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

A treatment joke.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

I like pepper.

What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?

"What a re-leaf."

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

What's a rapper's favorite kind of tree?

CYPRESS HILL.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?

A walnut.