Tree Jokes

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.

Why shouldn't you trust tree's? because they seem shady

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.

this meme had me thinking

A yellow minion with a confused expression stands to the right of a list of questions titled 'INTERESTING CONFUSIONS'. The questions include: Can you cry under water? Do fishes ever get thirsty? Why don't birds fall off trees when they sleep? Why is it called building when it is already built? When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it? If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? Why does round pizza come in square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? The text ends with 'Crazy world isn't it?'

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.