Tree jokes
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.