Tree jokes
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.