What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.