Travel jokes

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?

Once again, they don't fall for the trick!

Where does a pianist go on vacation? The Florida Keys.

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.

You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

How did the flight attendant want their burger?

Just plane!

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

Why can't you run through a campground?

Because it's "past tents!"

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!