Travel

Travel jokes

Visa

    • I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

    The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

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    • Actor

    • As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

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    • Countryside

    • If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

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    • Travel memes

    Eskimo

    • An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

    The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

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    • Train

    • I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

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    • Nun

    • Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

    One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

    The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

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    • Firefighter

    • Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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    • Cow

    • A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

    "Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

    "Heard of what?"

    "Herd of cows."

    "Of course I've heard of cows."

    "No, a cow herd."

    "What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

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    • Wife

    • H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

    W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

    *Later that day*

    W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

    H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

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    • Parachute

    • The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

    "People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

    "People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

    "You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

    "No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

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