Travel jokes

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?

A Pre Visa!

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

How can you help a llama on holiday? Alpaca your bags.

Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)

We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.