Travel

Travel Jokes

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

*Later that day*

W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.