Travel jokes
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.