Travel jokes
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?
Should be good night and walk walk home.
I hate airplanes!
I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.