Travel jokes

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

What's up with airline food?

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!

(Standing means: penis erection)

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.

You wanna know why I love trains?

They end my suffering.

Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.

Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?

Cross country.

Why can't orphans go on a field trip?

They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?