Travel jokes

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.

A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

Where did the pig go on holiday?

Snout and about.

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

What's up with airline food?

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!

(Standing means: penis erection)

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.