Transportation jokes
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.