Transportation jokes
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Pinto?
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
You are in the airway, how funny!