Transportation jokes
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."