Transportation jokes
What's the Twin Towers' favorite type of transport?
Planes.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?