What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
Transportation Jokes
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
