What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What's an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
