What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
