Toy jokes
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
I have a little John.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.