Toy jokes

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

What do you call a toy that has a story?

Toy Story.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

I have a little John.

Why was the kinetic sand always happy?

Because it was kinetic with its friends!

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

It's important to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...