What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Toy Jokes
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
