Toy jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.