Toy jokes
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.