Toy jokes
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun…
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.