Toy jokes
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
FUMO
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?
House.
I set a wheelchair on fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun…
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.