Worst Jokes Ever
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Why can’t orphans have Google Homes?
Because they don’t have a home.
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”