Worst Jokes Ever
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!